Posted by Ana & Mel

 

(banner made by Bethany)

Because what a crazy bunch they are! The adorable newlyweds Edward and Bella, who are utterly in love and, not to mention, very horny, are exposed to the Swans unique... well, let's just say personalities. There is a sociopath for a father, an uncle with absolutely no verbal filter, and a few meddling aunts who are curious about everything going on in the couple's marriage. And so the weekend turns into a one of a kind escape - especially because everyone seems to be obsessed with Bella and Edward’s sex life!

Because what a crazy bunch they are! The adorable newlyweds Edward and Bella, who are utterly in love and, not to mention, very horny, are exposed to the Swans unique... well, let's just say personalities. There is a sociopath for a father, an uncle with absolutely no verbal filter, and a few meddling aunts who are curious about everything going on in the couple's marriage. And so the weekend turns into a one of a kind escape - especially because everyone seems to be obsessed with Bella and Edward’s sex life!

This drabble story made us laugh out loud and groan in embarrassment at the same time. Although Swan Escape is a lighthearted story and meant to be funny, you can't help thinking about all of your own family members that you (thankfully) only see during the holidays and who drive you completely mad! So you can imagine what the two lovebirds go through while seeing their families every single day. But don’t worry, Bella and Edward take it all in stride; even though there are a few rough patches found in the fanfic, their patience is endless - something we don’t think we would have been able to get through [luckily we are not in that situation] without busting someone’s nose (and trust us when we tell you that we are not the kind to throw punches!)!. This story is a must read, and even has a sequel that is currently being posted - so keep an eye out for it! ADADancer brings about situations with a dash of realism and lots of humor. And knowing that she has based the story on her own personal experience and life, makes us admire her even more! So don't miss out on this wonderful story and be warned: drinking and eating while reading this story should be strictly avoided - your computer screen will thank you!

Swan Escape consists of 19 chapters and a total of 9,912 words. The story is rated M for foul language and adult situations. 

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Posted by Anonymous

A year ago, Bella Swan left her hometown Phoenix behind to fulfill her biggest dream. Because she wants to make a living with working on stages and movie sets, the 18-year-old moves to Los Angeles and enrolls in an acting school. There, she meets Alice and Rosalie, who become her closest and dearest friends. The three girls move into an apartment together and it is there that they meet the three people who will change their lives irrevocably.
Only minutes before that fateful encounter Bella sees the man of her dreams. While driving around L.A. she catches a glimpse of a handsome young man with wild yet beautiful bronze hair. After her "Greek God" almost causes the young girl to crash her car, she reluctantly breaks eye contact and makes her way home.

In the elevator on the way to their apartment, Bella and Alice meet two nice guys, Emmett and Jasper. They learn that, together with their younger brother Edward, the two play in a band and came to L.A. to make a name for themselves in the music industry. They girls demand a demo CD and are ecstatic when they listen to the songs. Only hours later, they find a note of "the boys of #110", who invite "the girls of #112" to one of their gigs. This is the beginning of an immensely funny tag game, which keeps on for days. When the girls write Bryan Adams lyrics on an old blind, the guys answer by hanging a giant and very ugly golden fan on their door. Things go as far as Alice, Rosalie, and Bella sneaking off in the middle of the night and writing a nice message with shoe polish on the courtyard glass doors of the boys' apartment. The six become close friends and soon couples start to form. Rosalie hits it off with Emmett and Alice falls in love with quiet Jasper. Bella has her eyes on Edward but is devastated when she hears that he has a long-time girlfriend, Tanya. Yet despite this obstacle, the young girl can't help but feel drawn to Edward and apparently, he feels the same. They get closer and closer (them building a fort out of blankets in the guys' living room is so sweet!) and Bella soon learns that her time with Edward runs out fast - because the boys never planned to stay longer in L.A. than a couple of months. Will she let Edward go before he knows what she feels for him?

Two things first: If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh is not for readers who cannot live without smut as this story doesn't even go so far as including the word "tongue" (even though there is kissing)! However, it is written so beautifully and with so much humor that you will fall in love with the characters from page one. The pranks that the guys and girls play each other are hilarious and Emmett's amazing relationship with Ruth, the inflatable chair in the girls' apartment, won't leave your eyes dry! Alice, Rosalie, and Bella experience love in more ways than one and in more depth than any of them thought was possible. They meet their soul mates, brothers, and best buddies, and eventually have to decide if they let them go or start a life with them. One final remark, the story is almost completely written out of Bella's perspective - only four shorter chapters reveal Edward's thoughts annd hopes.

If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh consists of 47 chapters and 291,619 words. The story is rated T and thus suitable for readers age 13 and older. carmelinagunn already published a sequel: More, More, More.

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Posted by Anonymous

Shortly after graduation, Bella Swan is persuaded by her girlfriends to spend the next couple of months exploring and enjoying London. However, the moment they arrive in the rainy city, they realize that in order to have a roof over their heads and some food to eat, they need to work. Bella and her friend Jessica find a job in an haute cuisine restaurant that also happens to sometimes cater for the Royal Family. And so, one evening, Bella finds herself waiting on kings, queens, princes, and people worth more money than her father's house. And among the many guests, one man has taken a particular interest in her...

HRH Prince Edward hates his life. Bugged by his conservative parents and his even more conservative grandmother (aka Grand Bitch), the young man longs for nothing more than normalcy. Instead of being the future King of England, Edward would love to enjoy the night with his friends and marry out of love rather than convenience. As fed up as he is by the people of the high society, it is no wonder that the moment he meets Bella at a banquet, he is more than intrigued. The girl is smart, funny, never says or does what he would expect, and, most importantly, doesn't seem to give a damn that his a prince. Unable to stay away from her they spend a passionate night together at Bella's apartment (having the best sex of their lives, thank you very much) and promise to stay in touch. Until Bella's visa expires in six months, she and Edward agree to spend as much time together as possible. However, they also promise each other that no feelings would get involved. Yeah, right...

This fanfiction is funny, smartly written and well researched (everything having to do with the royalty sounds very realistic). Edward and Bella have wit and own a sizable amount of sarcasm. Bella's occasional lack of filter is hilarious and Edward's opinion about his grandmother will probably have you falling from your sofa laughing. Moreover, the two don't waste any time in getting intimate. As A Night with the Royal Staff was initially planned to be a one-shot (thank God, MrsK81 changed her mind and expanded the story) you will already have your first lemon in the first chapter. Last but not least, the story also has some serious drama in store for you, let me just say that Edward's deal with his father is more than... interesting.

A Night with the Royal Staff consists of 24 chapters and a total of 117,978 words. The story is rated M for lemons and language. A sequel has also been published, A Life with the Royal Staff.

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Posted by Anonymous

When Bella Swan meets the young kids she's supposed to teach how to swim, one boy sticks out. Little Cooper is not just a quick learner but also a very eager one. And when she finds out that he is the son of one Edward Cullen, a former class mate of hers during high school, she makes sure to arrange a short meeting. Yet Bella is not prepared for what awaits her in the nearby café: instead of the lanky young boy with bad skin and nerdy glasses, she comes face to face with a handsome, well-built young man with a sharp jawline, the greenest eyes she had ever seen and the most intriguing grin. The feelings she secretly harbored for him in high school return and seem to magnify by the minute. It also helps that Edward tells her that there is no Mrs. Cullen...

Because Cooper's mother Tanya died shortly after giving birth due to a weak heart. Edward makes sure that his son knows about his mother and her love for him but when Cooper hears that his father used to have a crush on his swim teacher, he wants Bella to somewhat fill this position (and provide him with siblings). Additionally, little Coop also falls in love for the first time, constantly begs his dad for a new pet (they already have a gecko, three frogs, and two guinea pigs), and learns about big wieners, hairy body parts, and strawberry flavored balloons. ; )

The Workings of Fate can be described in three words: slow burn and hilarious. If you want Edward and Bella to jump each other's bones the moment they meet again after high school, you'll be thoroughly disappointed. Edward's lack of sexual experiences and shyness keep him from showing Bella what he feels and it isn't until about two thirds into the story that our two love birds actually do the deed. There are not many lemons in this story as the main focus lies on the relationship between Edward and Cooper but those few that are in there are tastefully written. I know, many of you will say that a fanfiction without graphic lemons shouldn't actually be considered a good story - but wait, because even though The Workings of Fate is not about sex, the plot is still entertaining as hell. Little Cooper is such a sweet young guy, whose addiction to super heroes and animals is the cutest thing. And whenever Emmett is in the picture as well, no eyes remain dry! RosieRathbone's story is wonderfully written and exremely realistic, so please give it a try! ; )

The Workings of Fate consists of 27 chapters and a total of 75,444 words. The story is rated M for lemons and profanities. RosieRathbone released a sequel, Because of Hope.

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For fans of: Drowning, Not Waving and A Rough Start

Posted by Anonymous

At the age of 19, Edward Cullen finally decides to escape the restraints of his life in Chicago and moves to the east coast. Not far from Denver, in Bear Valley, the young man buys a ranch. There, with the help of his many hands (including Cookie), Edward works often and hard and is soon able to live a decent and pleasant life. Yet there is one thing missing that would make Edward's life close to perfect - a wife. As the women of his immediate neighborhood and Denver don't interest him much, he decides to put a notice in the Matrimonial News. Edward looks for a woman with whom he can share the breathtaking nature of Colorado and with whom he would also be able to discuss his favorite poems and novels. So when, after weeks, one Isabella Swan replies to his advert, he is more than thrilled and excited. Because this woman seems to be all he only could have hoped for: wit, charme, humor, and, as he would later be able to see for himself, astounding beauty.

Ever since her mother died a couple of years ago, Isabella Swan lives a more than miserable life. As her brother and sister-in-law treat her like nothing short of a servant the place she once called home has become an unpleasant place for her. So when she stumbles upon a rather old newspaper with an intriguing advert, Bella doesn't hesitate and writes a letter to its author. And even though she never really expected to receive a response, her happiness is unrivaled when she does. It is the beginning of a long and intense correspondance between Bella and Edward until, finally, the latter asks her to come visit him in Denver. Not sooner said than done, 25-year-old travels all the way from Virginia to the east coast and is surprised by the man waiting for her at the train station. Edward Cullen is not only extraordinarily handsome but also intelligent and polite. And so, after only spending one day together, the two get married and Bella's ranch advanture is about to begin...

Among the many historic fanfics out there, The Mail Order Bride is one of the most popular ones. And rightfully so because Lady Gwynedd did not only come up with an interesting plot, but also managed to pepper said plot with many facts and trivia about life in the late 19th century. For example that women rarely knew what "becoming intimate" with a man really meant. Thus our sweet gentleman Edward has to illustrate the anatomical differences between the sexes to her and also explains the act in itself. It is a wonderfully written chapter and due to Bella's lack of knowledge also very funny. But once she knows the drill (no pun intended), she and Edward share many loving and passionate nights with each other. If you are already a fan of historic fanfictions, The Mail Order Bride will leave you completely satisfied. For all those of you, for whom this story might be a first, though, let me assure you that you will not only be greatly entertained but will also learn a lot about everyday life in the late 19th century.
 
The Mail Order Bride consists of 30 chapters and a total of 99,849 words. The story is rated M for lemons. Lady Gwynedd also published a prequel, Beginnings, and a sequel, Bear Valley Ranch.

Click here to download the story as a pdf (with author's permission).

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For fans of: The Marriage of True Minds

Posted by Anonymous

Bella Swan is helping organize the wedding and subsequent wedding reception of Rosalie Hale and Emmett McCarthy. No big deal really. Okay, maybe a small deal - after all, more than 400 guests need to be entertained and taken care of. What Bella doesn't know is that the brief and silent eye contact she has with a handsome stranger later that night, would change her life  forever... Because the man whose attention she caught is no other than Edward Cullen, son of Carlisle Cullen, and currently the most influential and powerful man in the whole of Chicago. Only a couple of years ago, Edward has taken over the mafia business from his father and is now involved in more or less legal activities. Yet, the Cullens are far from ruthless and brutal as they make it a habit to regularly donate money to a variety of charities in and around Chicago. And as Esme Cullen's brother died because of drugs, the clan vehemently refuses to have anything to do with drug-trafficking and/or dealing. That said, every member of the family (even Esme) carries a gun at all times and has no problem making quick work of people getting in their way...

Furthermore, what a Cullen wants, a Cullen gets. So when Edward decides to pursue the beautiful wedding planer Bella Swan he intents not to stop until she is his. Bella is informed by her father, police officer Charles Swan, that Edward has an interest in her and wants to invite her on a date. Surprisingly, despite the fact that Charlie and the Cullens stay on different sides of the law, they get along more than well (due to an old friendship between Bella's father and Carlisle). Charlie convinces his daughter to give Edward a chance and once Bella agress to go on a date, she realizes that Edward is far from being the bad guy: she meets a romantic, charminging, protective, family-loving man, who is deeply in love with her. But is Bella willing to become the wife of a mob boss?

Shamrocks and Shenanigans is written exceptionally well and mostly from Bella's point of view. Nevertheless, at the beginning of  almost every chapter we get a glimpse into Edwards mind as the incredibly funny author mathisson engages him a in a lively conversation about the latest events. In fact, it was one of these entertaining talks that were the reason for mathisson to begin writing the story in the first place. Just like our very dear Stephenie Meyer she met Edward in a dream and the rest, as they say, is history... Edward is absolutely wonderful, just like we want him. He is fiercely protective and is willing to break the nose of every guy even remotely staring at Bella. He basically worships the ground Bella is walking on and doesn't hide the fact that he wants her to be his wife and the mother of his children *sigh*. Of course, the latter is a guarantee for great lemons! Shamrocks & Shenanigans is a wonderful story that has it all, humor, great new characters, suspense, and an Edward to drool over!

Shamrocks and Shenanigans consists of 30 chapters and a total of 107,001 words. The story is rated MA for violence, foul language and lemons. mathisson also published a sequel, Claddagh and Chaos.

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For fans of: There Will Be Blood

Note: The Edward manip used in this banner was made by femmecullen. 
 

Posted by Anonymous

Though Bella and Edward have only seen each other once in their lives they can't forget each other. At the age of 13 the two spend an afternoon together in Bella's tree house while their fathers Charlie and Carlisle talk shop and reminisce about old times. For the first time, Edward feels like someone doesn't mind his stutter and quiet demeanor and Bella finally found someone who knows what it's like to lose your mother. About 13 years later, Edward and Bella finally meet again - though under less than perfect circumstances...

Bella Swan always wanted to be an FBI agent. Yet a sick aunt and a disapproving father prevented her from completing her training. She decides to open her own P.I. office in California and along with the help of computer geek Alice Brandon and talented artist Makenna Coleman, she chases unfaithful husbands and wives.
One day, after a successful day at work, Bella gets a phone call from her godfather Carlisle. He tells her that there is something he needs to tell her but that he would rather like to do it in person. Carlisle asks Bella to go to a hotel room and wait for him there. However, the person who visits Bella shortly after is not her father's longtime friend but a brutal assassin. And it seems as if the only person who can save her has emerald green eyes...

Blood & Glory is a f*** awesome story! It's full of twists and surprises and the suspense will make it difficult for you to put the fanfiction away. The characters are wonderfully portrayed, even the two new ones, Makenna and Mikey. Every one has something he is good in: Carlisle's the brain, Emmett the weapon expert, Jasper the sniper, Makenna the artist, Alice and Ben the geeks, and so on and so forth. This is a thriller extraordinaire - you won't be bored for even a second!

Blood & Glory consists of 33 chapters and a total of 302,953 words. The story is rated MA for violence and graphic description of sexual activities. If you are under the age of 18, I'll really advise you not to read the fanfiction! Two sequels have already been published: Sin & Innocence and Smoke & Mirrors.

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Posted by Anonymous

Edward Cullen has just one thing in mind: revenge. He wants nothing more than to let Aro Volturi pay for the deaths of his brother and niece, and oh so many other girls all over the world! So one night, after months of planning, Edward finally manages to break into the government agency lead by Aro and begins looking for evidence. After finding Aro's laptop he tries to access and download the most important files but even with the help of computer geek Jasper, he seems to be unable to crack the password. Right in this moment Felix stumbles into the office with a pretty brunette by his side, apparently Aro's PA. And all of a sudden, things change - Edward Cullen has just one thing in mind: her!

What I Want is the companion piece to Want No More, which is written out of Bella's persepctive. In this one shot, Edward is cocky yet not necessarily rude. He is respectful towards Bella but makes sure she knows how much he wants her. It's too bad that Savage7289 restricted herself to only one (or two) chapter(s) - this plot would have deserved to be expanded to at least twenty times as much!

What I Want is a one shot and consists of 13,587 words. The story is rated MA for graphic description of sexual activities. If you are off age I'll advise you not to read the fanfiction!

NOTE: The manip used in this banner was made by Mysty1234!

Posted by Anonymous

Edward enjoys exactly two things in his life: freedom and women. Being a manwhore extraordinaire Edward is far from being interested in settling down; so when one of his former flings shows up at his doorstep and hands him over a newborn, Edward is lost for words. The little bundle in his arms is his daugter Sofia - and from now on Edward's responsibility.

Needless to say, Edward has a problem. Not only does he lack any kind of experience with children, but he also doesn't know how to incorporate Sofia in his busy work schedule. As a doctor, he often has to stay longer than anticipated and is often called in in the middle of the night.

Thank God for Bella Swan! The shy neighbor from next door offers Edward her help and expertise. As a kindergarten teacher Bella knows how to handle small children and it doesn't complicate things when she and Sofia also take an instant liking to each other. And it doesn't take long until Bella manages to capture Edward's heart as well!

Fatherhood, Formula, and Other F-Words is an incredibly sweet story. Without virtually any kind of drama or angst, the reader can just lay back and enjoy seeing Edward with his newborn daughter (whom he calls "Little One" - too cute!). The dialogue is very well written and the characters nicely developed. Taking into consideration that anhanninen actually prefers the pairing of Esme/Carlisle she does an amazing job in portraying the wonderful relationship of Edward and Bella. If you're looking for a story that makes you swoon and sigh happily, go ahead and read!

Fatherhood, Formula, and Other F-Words consists of 36 chapters and 134,484 words. The story is rated M for mature content. anhanninen plans to begin posting a mini-sequel in November.

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Posted by Anonymous

After a memorable incident in his past Edward is convinced that all police officers sooner or later end up being corrupted. Thus instead of following his older brother Emmett and joining the DC police department Edward decides to become a private investigator. And a good, mind you.

One day, after taking photos of the major cheating on his wife Edward makes it back to his office and starts developing the pictures. He hears how a woman enters and asks her to wait until he's done. Too late. Bella Swan opens the door to the dark room, exposes the negatives to light, and ruins Edward's day. She then introduces herself as the new competition in town and leaves. Later, Edward finds out that alluring Ms. Swan is a P.I. herself and was hired by the major to destroy the photos. From then on, Bella and Edward happen to cross paths several times and soon realize that they're highly attracted to each other. When they are more or less forced to work together, the tension is getting almost unbearable

This fanfiction was written by the very talented FictionFreak95. Like almost all of her stories, Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire is impeccably written and absolutely engaging. The plot is thrilling and reminds you of a detective novel or an episode of Law and Order. The characters have depth and are absolutely believable. Bella and Edward have charm, brainpower, humor, and sex appeal. Because there are more chapters written from Edwards point of view the reader learns especially much about his character and problems. Must read! 

Edward Cullen, Dick For Hire consists of 29 chapters and a total of 257,042 words. The story is rated MA for highly for mature content. A sequel has already been published, The Dick In Me.

 

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Posted by Anonymous

There are a couple of fanfictions out there that are widely known and immensely successful. johnnyboy7's There Will Be Blood is definitely one of them.

Bella Swan is a student at Northwestern and meets Edward Cullen in a club. She feels unbelievably drawn to him, but doesn't know that she is about to fall for one of the most dangerous men on the planet. Edward is the first-born son of Carlisle Cullen, boss of the Cullen mafia clan. The Cullens pretty much rule the criminal world. Not rarely does the life of Edward and his brothers Emmett and Jasper consist of murder, drugs, and never-ending sex. Edward uses women like others use underwear: every day there is a new blonde, brunette, or redhead in his bed. Yet when he meets Bella, things start to change as he wants her but she refuses to be used. All of a sudden, Edward has to learn how to fight for what he wants instead of having it being served on a silver platter. And soon he knows that once he has her, he won't be able to let her go.

There Will Be Blood is an amazingly thrilling story. Though it takes some time to get used to the very dark world the Cullens live in the characters are interesting and absolutely believable. There are unforeseen twists and turns and you always expect things to change for the worse. Without giving too much away, I can guarantee that you will hate the ending and will be in desperate need to read the sequel!

There Will Be Blood consists of 42 chapters and a total of 319,532 words. All characters are human. The story is rated MA for highly mature content. If you are under the age of 18, I'll really advise you not to read the fanfiction. A sequel has also been published: There Will Be Freedom.

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Posted by Anonymous

After rushing to the hospital in a cab and some swearing and sweating Bella can finally hold her new baby girl in her arms. Juliet is a beautiful little angel, who puts not only her mother under her spell but also Dr. Edward Cullen. Edward is the pediatrician on duty at the maternity ward and performs Juliet's first examinations. He develops an immediate affection for both Juliet and her mother and befriends with them. After Bella is released he remains a constant part in their lives as he regularly checks on his favorite little patient. And it doesn't take long for the two adults to notice that they are far more than just friends.

Days Like This is fluff at its best. If you are no friend of too much drama and angst, this is the perfect story for you. Yet, just because the main characters aren't faced with massive problems and shocking revelations doesn't mean that the story is boring. In fact, waiting for Bella and Edward to finally act according to their feelings keeps the reader glued to the pages. Additionally, Edward's "talks" with Juliet are absolutely adorable - who doesn't love daddyward?!? The dialogues are extremely well-written and the characters accurately portrayed. If you need something to smile and aww about, Days Like This is your story!

Days Like This consists of 41 chapters and a total of 185,062 words. All characters are human. A mini-sequel (3 chapters) has already been published. The story is rated M for mature content.

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