"Failure to Thrive" by Julesnerd
Posted by Mandy
Edward Masen and Isabella Swans couldn't have met at weirder moment in time, much less at a weirder place. Because instead of running into each other at a coffee bar or at the university, the two meet at the practice of Carlisle Cullen and Emmett McCarthy, two sexual therapists. While Bella is there to talk with Emmett about her unfortunate past with men and to work on her (non-existing) ability to get aroused, Edward regular sees his father Carlisle to get a grip on his sexual insatiability as well as to find a way to not ejaculate prematurely. When the two meet in the waiting room, Edward asks the wonderful and witty brunette to grab a cup of coffee with him and because Emmett (who is also Edward's adoptive brother) told her to be more open to new experiences, Bella says yes. It doesn't take long for her to notice that she feels safer with Edward than with any other men she's interacted with lately and connects with him over their mutual sexual problems. The two banter back and forth while spending the afternoon together and when they sit down on an old bench, they come to an unusual agreement...
The two students are determined to help each other overcome their sexual inadequacies. While Edward will try to introduce Bella to the arts of love-making (pretty much everything from kissing to actual sex), Bella is willing to help Edward deal with his insatiability and train certain methods that could help him with his ejaculation problem. The two of them meet on a regular basis and go through important milestones together. Whenever they are not busy making out, however, they spend hours getting to know each other better, enjoying to banter back and forth about the most ridiculous things, sometimes joint by their sweet and supportive, yet slightly crazy friends. And so, naturally, what was meant to be a simple deal, soon turns out to be so much more. Edward and Bella develop real feelings for each other that they can't hold back and both plan to act on it.
Failure to Thrive can be described as the following: extremely funny and incredibly hot! When I read the summary for the story, I expected a fanfiction full of darknes and and lots mature themes - yet the moment I read the first few paragraphs, I knew that I was in for the exact opposite. Even though the first chapter is somewhat written from a third-person perspective (somewhat because Julesnerd jumps to a first-person perspective every once in a while) the rest of the story is written from either Edward's or Bella's POV. Don't let this small error in continuity keep you from reading the fic because you'd miss out on so much! First and foremost, wonderful graphic lemons and an awefully cute Edward, but also the hilarious bickering that is going on between our lovely couple (and whenever Emmett or Alice come into play, I promise that no eyes will remain dry). There is absolutely no angst in this story and virtually no drama. This is pure fluff, humor, and lots of delicious lemons - these two really make sure to explore each other's bodies (and their own) to the max! Enjoy!
Failure to Thrive consists of 27 chapters and a total of 195,999 words. The story is rated MA for graphic description of sexual activities, minor references to sexual abuse, and profanities. If you are under the age of 18, I'll advise you not to read the fanfiction!
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